Warning. Contains Spoilers. Click the ‘read more’ tag to continue.
AW. My mates, my fellow Odyssey nerds, my friends, whatever you want to call yourselves, this is a MASTERPIECE. I have NEVER… EVER looked forward to something as much as I have for the next book in this series, it is so awesome!!!!!
Don’t be this guy.
That’s the gist of my review, basically. The Blackgaard Chronicles book is a book written by Phil Lollar that delves into all of the things that we never got to see in the episodes, and it is ABSOLUTELY 100% canon! Thank you Phil!!!!!
Ok so I’m going to try to review this in a sane way, which probably means meme-ing my way through it, since I have to keep this nerdy and interesting. This book is a rough draft of the one that will be available for purchase, it is written WELL. So well. It’s from different characters’ POVs, and we find out so much from this!
Phillip Glossman is hungry, he’s waiting for a call from Blackgaard, and we find out (on the second page, no less!!) that Phillip Glossman HATES BLACKGAARD’S GUTS. And I was like, YEAH. Wooooo! Glossman was I guess an embezzler of the stock market, either that or he was making shady deals. Anyway, Blackgaard caught him, and blackmailed him into going to Odyssey.
And then we get a flashback to when Jenny Whittaker was fighting about the Filmore Recreation Center. And she is totally glaring daggers at Glossman. And then we get Cadet David Harley!
You’ve got guts, Phil. I was so happy!
And Jenny dies in dramatic fashion, second chapter! Way to keep me interested, Phil!
Third chapter, Glossman remembers things while watching a dead fly! And… Glossman was in love!? I completely did not see this one coming. At all. And it was slightly strange.
How many of you imagine Glossman as Paul McCusker? I do, which is probably why I like him. I like this character development we’re getting for him.
Blackgaard calls! And I have the easiest time imagining his voice, he is written so well and it’s just terrifying to think that he had all of these things we didn’t know about, like Glossman and the city counsel, right in the palm of his hand! And he KNOWS! He knows that Glossman was about to leave, and go back to Lizzy, and I totally got creeped out more than I should have!
And then we meet Connie. We get some more history on Whit…
OK I found it slightly annoying that we are going over stuff I already know, but that is totally fine because it makes it a BOOK. Someone tell me to shut up. I obviously know nothing about writing.
Actually, come to read it again, I didn’t know that Whit actually got a BA in philosophy and literature.
And Connie is five feet, four inches tall. Is it just me, or is that tall? I’m actually going to go get a measuring tape and see.
OK I’m like three or four inches shorter than Connie, it’s a little hard to tell with a measuring tape. I’m one of the shorter people in the high school girls section of youth group so I’d say- yep. She’s a high schooler. So no she’s not as tall as I thought. Phil calls her ‘petite’ in the book and I was like thinking she’s this giant monster that’s a foot taller than I am. I’m obviously not good at measuring height.
Eugene slithers out from behind the freezer because he is so thin. That tickled me, I found that funny. Reddish-brown hair? OK. I don’t know about you but I thought of the art from the video games by Fred Dianda:
And then I decided that maybe I imagine Eugene with black hair because that is a disturbing red color to me right there. Why do you bring this image to my mind, Phil???
My favorite line from the entire book:
Connie: “I already know that, I’m not a complete dolt, and don’t say, ‘How much of a dolt are you?'”
I don’t know if that was in that episode or not because I haven’t heard it for awhile but if it is then that’s my favorite line of A Bite of Applesauce too.
Whit still has a slight limp? I have to meme about this…
Maybe that’s why no one ever asks him about it.
Eighteen months earlier: Connie thinks Whit is an idiot when she first meets him! And then she realizes she’s the idiot! I love it! And Tom is busy trying to wait tables, something I never thought we would ever see him try to do. Was this in an episode? I’m obviously not as much of a nerd as I claim to be because I can’t remember this being in an episode or not.
And Glossman comes in. You’ve got a typo there, Phil, you spelled it Glosssman. 🙂
So Glossman comes in, he drops the hint to Connie that maybe she should be concerned about what Whit is telling Eugene and not her, AKA Applesauce. And then Connie likens herself to chopped liver.
OK and then Eugene meanwhile is having a heartthrob moment over a computer. This made me laugh so hard, ‘Eugene felt as though hearts were floating from his eyes to the machine’, that’s just so bad. In a good way. Yeah.
I like the description that Mr. Whittaker actually scowls when he’s telling Eugene not to touch Applesauce. It gives him a dynamic of emotion that we don’t really see in the more modern AIO episodes, or for that matter, rarely in any episode.
And another flashback comes, this time from Eugene’s perspective. He meets Tom and Whit for the first time, and when he doesn’t know their names he narrates it in his mind as Mr. Mustache and Mr. Overalls. How uncharacteristic, is what I thought. I’m not complaining but this was another thing that completely surprised me is that he would label these guys as something so simplistic. I will never be able to listen to this scene again without thinking about Mr. Mustache and Mr. Overalls.
And then it says ‘his mind whirred’. What- is this guy a machine? That was an extremely characteristic sentence, probably a reference to that episode where we get to see what he’s thinking. Yeah it whirred, you just don’t want to see how many calculations it took for him to get there.
Aha. He does not understand the concepts of emotions. And then Miss Kendall ‘purposefully chose emotion instead’.
This was the cool one for me- Eugene is privately flipping out about Applesauce as much as Connie is.
OK and then Richard Maxwell is back, we find out he’s stealing jewelry from the elderly at the retirement home and fencing it through Jellyfish.
And I’m pretty much done with this review but I will say that RICHARD WAS KIDNAPPED and taken to a warehouse in Chicago after Connie and Eugene used Applesauce, and there he meets Dr. Blackgaard!!!
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