Warning. Contains spoilers and memes. Click the ‘read more’ tag to continue.
So the book begins with them all in jail from book 18. By ‘them all’, I mean Beth, Patrick, and Eugene. That’s something I actually find interesting about these books, is that they all lead into each other like one huge movie.
So first Eugene actually suggests abandoning Beth and Patrick in jail, and I was like, YEAH do it!! But I mean that’s cruel and unusual so Beth and Patrick decide to be cruel and unusual instead.
OK but I would have been like, “SCOOT OVER I’M COMIN’ IN” and I would have smashed myself in to the Imagination Station somehow, but I wouldn’t have let myself get left behind. Hanging with one leg out the left door and my face smashed into the windshield, “Not today, suckeeeerrrrs!!!!”
WILL BOOK 20 BE THE END?? OK so we’re moving on, the Imagination Station leaves Eugene, and it takes them to the desert, but before they realize they are in the desert, Beth looks out and “She saw only swirling rainbow colors.”
And then BETH FEELS GUILT
IDK but Beth feels guilty. Making a meme for that one is kind of tough. So then they go see the statue that King Nebuchadnezzar made, and what a beautiful illustration on David Hohn’s part.
Very, very cool. So then the story continues with like two pages of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. And then we yet again end up somewhere else, this time it’s obviously for the lion’s den story.
OK so they get corned beef and an electric meter from the Imagination Station, ARE YOU STUPID, PATRICK!?!!? He tosses the meter in the sand and says they don’t need it!! No, that kid is obviously stupid, I’m sorry, that’s a non-question.
They are captured by the captain of the Babylonian King’s army who thinks that they are children of the god, Adad. And they don’t say anything to the contrary, making them feel guilty later, THESE KIDS ARE IN FOR A GUILT TRIP.
And then as they enter the palace, a lion that escaped from the lion pit jumps onto the horse’s back. “It’s claws dug in. The horse let out a deep moan.” Is that it!?
I mean, yeah, I obviously know that these books are written for five-year-olds. But… if I wrote it, the horse would have trampled three people in it’s flight, and blood would have been running down it’s back as the lion tried to chew off it’s face. (JK!!!)
Moving on, I’m going to have to sue these guys for saying “Legos”. It should have been “Legos™”.
OK so basically they tour around for a few pages and then FINALLY, in chapter six, they actually get somewhere. They are being taken to the temple of Adad by the priestess.
Dang I can do a short summary of this book. In chapter seven Beth has MORE GUILT over not saying anything like that she’s a Christian. And then meanwhile, for Patrick, the Imagination Station shows up and he doesn’t get in, and then freaks out because he realizes it might not come back.
And then in chapter eight Beth confesses and escapes! Or tries to, in chapter 10 she gets caught. In chapters 9 and 10 Patrick tells Daniel and the King about Jesus.
I’m going to skip way ahead to where the Imagination Station shows up again and Beth decides not to abandon Daniel like she did Eugene.
So now we get this very… creative idea of how the angel shut the lion’s mouths. The book and the illustrations are two very different things, and I’m not sure who made that happen… but…
The angel, in the book, is like, doing the Chuck Norris and beating all the lions up, and then after he beats them up he sings to them.
And then in the illustrations…
The protective mucus floats above the children and Daniel, a glowing germ in all of it’s splendor and glory…
And then they get out of the lion’s den, and for some reason Duzi (they guy who throws the bad guys that tried to trap Daniel in) is hesitant about saying what the lions actually eat. Haven’t the people reading this book figured out that the lions eat people? Since Beth and Patrick were just in there about to get eaten? No, the kids obviously still think that the lions just wanted to snuggle. Geeeezzz…
And then the Imagination Station comes back. And Patrick and Beth get in, and Eugene is speaking through the intercom to them because he’s still in jail. He tells them that they should go see Nikola Tesla to get them all back home.
But seriously this is starting to feel like a really bad science fiction movie.
And then just as Beth and Patrick, take off, Eugene haphazardly shouts that he “forgot to-” and that’s the end of the book.
Gosh is there no end to the mayhem?
So, in the end, these books are made for little kids, and they have no idea when to stop making these. My sister is eight years old, she read Danger on a Silent Night, and found it completely under her level. However, she’s also the one reading the Lord of the Rings so she’s probably not a normal example.
If they end with book 20, with Tesla as the grand finale, I can’t quite see that being the finale. I’d almost imagine at this point that they bring in an alternate dimension or something, unless the whole thing really is in the imagination. But I can’t imagine them ending this book series at all, just because they seem to have a knack for making it drag on and on and on.
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