Excerpts from the no-longer-existent Whitsend.org feature called the Odyssey Times. Originally published around February of 2002.
Local private investigator Harlow Doyle announced that tomorrow will be Daniel Boone Day in Odyssey. The announcement came as a surprise since Harlow had announced a different date earlier in the week.
“It’s not really my fault, you see,” said Doyle. “When I got my letter from the official Daniel Boone Fan Club the other day, it took me a long time to figure out if I should open it. We private eyes occasionally put messages in code and I wasn’t too sure if opening the envelope would cause it to self-destruct or something. When I finally deduced that there was no message on the outside of the envelope, I opened the letter. Now the letter had a date on it, but how did I know that the date wasn’t actually a code that meant it was some other date, hmmm?”
Doyle said he announced the day as earlier in the week to see if anyone would actually celebrate it and then he would be able to pick out which members of the fan club are not true fans. “But then I realized that there was a gap in my logic. And it was almost as big as the gap in my teeth. If I didn’t know if the date on letter was the actual date, how would the real members of the fan club?” Doyle then decided to announce the actual date on the letter and hope that it wasn’t some sort of code. “If I see anyone celebrating Daniel Boone Day tomorrow with me then I’ll know that I got the right day. If not, I may have to announce it on a different day and see if that works better.”