The Odyssey Times, Vol 1, Issue 11

Excerpts from the no-longer-existent Whitsend.org feature called The Odyssey Times.

Real Crimes is Really Silly

Rating:

Real Crimes begins each episode with the following statement: “The events depicted in the following dramatizations are not real, but something like them could happen someday. The names have been changed to protect those to whom these events could happen.”

The show is called a “reality” show, but that should be used in the very loosest possible sense of the word. The reality created by the show is anything but real. The show further purports to show felonies from the perspective of innocent bystanders. But the bystanders themselves are hardly bystanders. I mean, really, how many average small town citizens known jiu-jitsu and can hack into the FBI fingerprinting computer from a payphone? And how about that scene where the toothpick thieves are escaping from the plant? What are the possibilities that a tourist would know how to turn on the grinder at just that moment?

In short, Real Crimes is a ludicrous excuse to play a bunch of silly high-action scenes that form no coherent narrative. Then again, if the show were titled Real Lame, it would be appropriate.

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