The Odyssey Times, Vol 1, Issue 11

Excerpts from the no-longer-existent Whitsend.org feature called The Odyssey Times.

Dear Editor,

Thank you for providing such insightful and informed news, unlike some other news outlets in your area. I’m writing this letter to simply point out an insulting comment made on a local radio station recently. The show was talking about the new Whit’s End that was being built in Connellsville. Then they quoted some slouch who said something like, “They have no idea what they’re doing. This is Oswald Heights, not Nice Valley Falls.”

With all due respect to whatever his name was, I don’t think that the name Nice Valley Falls should be thrown around like a football. NVF is a great place to live and I don’t like it when people use our name as some sort of a “throwaway.” I don’t think that Mister what’s-his-name would have made his comment if he could he visited our fair town.

Sincerely yours,
Goody Tooshuze from Nice Valley Falls

Dear Odyssey Times,

I recently read an article in The Odyssey Owl that I understand you’ll be reprinting today in your paper. The article is about the miniature golf record that was recently broken. The article is all about Mandy Straussberg and how she broke the record, but it barely mentions Alex Jefferson, who broke the record after it stood for more than 30 years.

Moreover, the article doesn’t mention me at all. I was the one who faithfully stayed at Alex’s side and gave him updates on his score throughout the game. I was the one who called a crowd over to watch Alex while he putted. I was the one gave Alex tips, especially on the horrible waterfall hole (number 18).

I just wanted to make sure there’s credit where credit is due.

Disappointed,
Nathaniel Graham

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