Tag: Times

The Odyssey Times, Vol 1, Issue 10

Excerpts from the no-longer-existent Whitsend.org feature called The Odyssey Times.


Snow is predicted for Monday and Tuesday. More snow will fall Wednesday. Thursday will get even more snow. Friday we’ll get more of the white stuff.

Wanted: Partner to juggle with. Partner who won’t break glass. Call Sarah at 555-8412.

Needed: Day timer. Preferably with DAYS OF THE WEEK on it. See Connie at Whit’s End.

Wanted: Short-term help for Timothy Center get-together. Call Tom at 555-7844.

Needed: Ear plugs. For use during Nick Mulligan’s guitar lessons. Call Lisa at 555-5361.

Needed: Guitar lessons. Nick Mulligan. I’m pretty good, but need some expertise to guide my free artist spirit. Needed: Guitar lessons. Call Nick at 555-5361.

For Nick Mulligan. He’s pretty desperate. Call Lisa at 555-5361.

Help wanted: Build the Novacom for Kids website. Get paid to watch TV and review our programs! Call 555-NOVA.

Wanted: Personal paintings for display in Treasure Room. Exhibit locally. Call Whit’s End at 555-WHIT.

Bonanza Scratch and Dent Sale: Fireworks, some barely used! Call Electric Palace at 555-BART.

Help Wanted: Adults to supervise “Read Me a Story Time” at Mary’s Story Shop. Call the shop at 555-6279.

Needed: Judges for “freestyle standup synchronized sledding” competition on Gumper’s Hill. Call 555-8943.

Wanted: Partner to baseball with. Partner who won’t break glass. Call Alex at 555-8142.

For sale: Piece of glass from scene of famous Odyssey crime. Call Rodney at 555-8124.

Free Performance in the Park! Hamlet…with the esteemed actor Edwin Blackgaard preforming! This Saturday!

For free! Extra ice cream at Whit’s End. (We ordered too much.) Come by anytime!

Wanted: Cool name for Novacom Kids Center. We want your ideas! Call Ricky at 555-NOVA.

Needed: Models for Virtual Mingle Room. To be made into wax statues. Don’t apply unless you can stand in the same position for at least eight hours. Call Ricky at 555-NOVA.

For Sale: Banana Manny suit. In perfect condition, never used. Call Bob Larry at 555-8344.

Needed: Pencil Sharpener repair person. Mysterious object stuck in electric sharpener. Call 555-NOVA.

BTV Camera Grip. Needs to know what a “grip” is. Call Bernard at 555-8772.

Now Available at Whit’s End: Gourmet espresso. Stop by for a try!

Come to the new Bible Study. Led by Mitch and Connie. Stop by J & J Antique Gallery on Wednesday evenings.

Wanted: Partner to laugh with. Partner who won’t break glass. Call Rodney at 555-8124.

Needed: Gavel. See Connie at Whit’s End. (I know the difference between a gavel and a meat hammer.)

Needed: Homework help. Give me the address and I’ll drop it off for you to do. Call Rodney at 555-8124.

Help Wanted: Part time worker for Novacom Kids Center. Technical expertise a plus. Call Ricky at 555-NOVA.

Help Wanted: Some of the apple crop ripened early. Way early! Help pick apples. Refreshments provided. Call Tom at 555-7844.

For free! Signs that say “The W. E,” including big sign from out front. Stop by Whit’s End or call 555-9448.

Wanted: BIG band-aids. Call Hank Foufou at Foufou’s Obedience School, 555-6578.

Coming soon! Free performances of the greatest works of Shakespeare. Call the Harlequin at 555-2387.

Needed: Exotic animals of all kinds. We can take any! Call Lisa at 555-7254.

Needed: Box mover. Preferably of the Robin Hood type. Come by Whit’s End. Soon preferable to later. See Connie for details.

Wanted: Editorial assistant to class up the classified currently lacking in coolness.


The Odyssey Times, Vol 1, Issue 10

Excerpts from the no-longer-existent Whitsend.org feature called The Odyssey Times.

Novacom launches Destination Station amid controversy

Marking another in a series of controversial, protested shows to be released within months, Novacom began airing their kid-aimed, but violence-filled program, Destination Station. The show has touched off a wave of debate over both its violent content and its similarities to the Imagination Station, an attraction at Whit’s End. The show airs on Novacom channel 25 on Wednesday evenings.

The pilot episode for Destination Station begins on a cold night in the small town of Wilmore, Maryland where four children stumble upon an old inventor’s warehouse filled with strange devices. At the far end of the warehouse, they find an old metallic object that resembles a phone booth. Stepping inside, the kids are whisked away to another time and another place. They have no idea how to return to the present day and wonder if they will get out alive.

That’s where the violence starts. The kids are involved in some epic-scale battles that feature some exciting special effects for a television program, but concerned parents say the battles are far too intense for the target age group. “Kids this age don’t need to be seeing battles and death,” said Maureen Thompson, one of the parents who has spoken out against the shows. “Novacom is showing they have no concern for our children.” Arthur Dent, general manager of Novacom said that Novacom will continue to investigate concerns and will meet with parents to talk about the show’s content.

The Odyssey Times, Vol 1, Issue 10

Excerpts from the no-longer-existent Whitsend.org feature called The Odyssey Times.

Instant Messenger Software Popular In Odyssey

Commonly used IM expressions
JK Just Kidding
BRB Be Right Back
BTW By the Way
GTG Got to Go
IMHO In My Humble Opinion
LOL Laughing out Loud
OTFLOL On the Floor Laughing out Loud
ROTFLOL Rolling On the Floor Laughing out Loud
🙂 Happy face
😉 Wink
😦 Sad face

AlexJeff4Son: Hey!
CalRiver: Hello!
AlexJeff4Son: How are you?
AlexJeff4Son: 🙂
CalRiver: ;-)So goes the chit-chat on an average Instant Messenger conversation on an evening in Odyssey. The use of Instant Messenger software has become a habit for many Odyssey residents, including Connie Kendall and Cal Jordan.

“I use Instant Messenger to talk to my friends all the time,” says Kendall. “What makes it so much better than the phone is that you can talk to about five people at once.” Kendall said the most people she’s talked to at once has been “around twenty-two maybe twenty-three actually, once I think I might have had twenty-five.”

Cal Jordan says Instant Messenger is a fun way to meet people on the Internet. “Since it’s free, you can talk to people all over the world. You get to meet people you’d never meet in real life.” Jordan says the person he talks to most is his cousin Alex Jefferson. Unfortunately, neither Jordan nor Jefferson would comment on ever getting in trouble using Instant Messenger.

The Odyssey Times, Vol 1, Issue 10

Excerpts from the no-longer-existent Whitsend.org feature called The Odyssey Times.

The Next Generation of Whit’s End

by Jerry Phillips
Times Reporter

John Avery Whittaker announced that he will be opening another Whits End in Connellsville. The idea came from Mary Hopkins, founder of the Marys Story Shop chain, a popular childrens bookstore.

“I heard about Whits End, and how much kids loved it, so I decided I should pay a visit,” Hopkins explains. “As soon as I saw Whits End, I knew it was too good to have just one. And the people of Connellsville will be thrilled.”

Hopkins and Whittaker will be opening their businesses together in one building. They havent decided on the stores location, but they are considering the north end of town. “Were looking very closely at the intersection of Carnegie and Bristol,” Hopkins says.

Whittaker is enthusiastic about the expansion. “It was an answer to prayer for me. I was hoping for a way to reach more kids, and this seems to be a great way to do it.”