Odyssians Filming Their Own Live-Action Film
The denizens of Odyssey and Whit’s End are tired of waiting for people to make a film about Odyssey. So, they’re doing it themselves.
“Wait, we still haven’t activated the lights!” Eugene began to gesture wildly as he tried to find the light switches. “I don’t believe they film this way…”
After getting the lights turned on, they pushed Connie next to the “set” which was really just the front door of Whit’s End.
“Okay, we have lights!”
“Wait!” Our ears were nearly blown by Jason’s screech. “Sorry! The camera’s out of battery!”
Connie stomped away to put on makeup as Eugene and Jason began to run around, looking for the battery charger. We heard Jason mutter something like “left it at home.” Meanwhile, the set designer (Mr. Whittaker), began to design a less visually interesting set by cleaning off the table to the left.
We asked who the producers, directors, and writers are. We were led to a back room by Mr. Whittaker, where we found Buck and Bart Rathbone hurriedly typing and printing a script for the opening scene. We doubt that Connie will be singing Bart’s musical anytime soon, or speaking with a Bart-ese accent.
At this rate, we’ll be seeing the first trailer for the still untitled film in ten years or so.
The Newest Member of the Meltsner Family is…
We all know that Eugene and Katrina won’t be having kids of their own. So far they’ve substituted a teenage boy (who is not nearly as cute), and a puppy (which is almost as cute), but what could they possibly add to round it off?
BABY PANDAS! Since they feel obligated to amp the “cute” factor in their family, they have opted for four baby pandas.
And a ridiculously cute kitten!! Still want them to have a baby? Well, they also adopted…
A TANK OF DOLPHINS!!! How could you possibly want them to have a descendant of their own flesh and blood when they have all of these ridiculously cute animals? They also adopted one more thing for Eugene’s sake…
The cutest. Amoeba. Ever.
“I choose a mortal life!”
Just like Arwen in Tolkien’s famous book trilogy The Lord of the Rings, Connie Kendall has been faced with a weighty decision: to choose a mortal life? Or to remain sixteen and alone forever? This came about when she was given a vision into her future by The Room of Consequences.
“It was awful,” she says, “I was the only one left in Odyssey! I never finished high school and I had to do Algebra 2 for the rest of my existence! I had no entertainment besides the gravestones of my friends, (Sorry Eugene, yours has amoeba with glasses on it now). I choose a mortal life!”
Now, the question is whether she’d like to go date Jeff Lewis for six albums only to break up with him. Because, as we all know, Connie has been invisibly barred from getting married.
The Dr. Blackgaard Show
We all like to poke fun at Dr. Blackgaard. But what about making a show about him?
Two ambitious producers are going to do just that. The show, entitled “The Dr. Blackgaard Show”, will feature a series of pratfalls and epic fails for your enjoyment, with the one and only Dr. Blackgaard.
The only naysayer is Mr. Whittaker. We will make a hamster meme of him soon. For now, enjoy samples of the upcoming pilot episode: